Back to reality

Today's post will be in list form and here's why. This is my last day of Christmas break and because I want to. That's why.

1) The dumbest thing I ever did was to resign as a fitness instructor. When my schedule got busy my workout was never compromised. Something else less important was thrown out. Now it's the first thing to go when I get busy. Makes staying fit a lot more challenging AND nobody pays me when I do! And y'all...I need exercise. I used to need it because I wanted to look good and for my clothes to sit and hang in all the right places, and while I still want that, I'm realizing I need it now more than ever to feel good. I seem to be more susceptible to colds and the flu and junk like that along with having new ache every day. I'm sure that some of it is due to getting a little older, but I refuse to ache because I don't have a regular workout schedule. So there.

2) My Christmas decorations are officially down. That makes me sad. I wish we could start celebrating Christmas in August. Haha. Not really. The Contemporary Christian station on Uverse is still playing Christmas songs today though, and I am squeezing in as much as I can before I go back to the real blah world on Monday.

My Christmas tree looks sad and naked.
Ok...so it's all down, but it's not put away yet. Waiting for someone to bring in the storage bins from the garage.

3) I need a new do. Really. And what I want is for it to look like Jennifer Aniston's hair all the time with the least amount of effort possible on my part. So if anyone has any ideas on how to make that happen, please let me know.

4) The countdown is on for my next half marathon and my training starts Monday. If you've never run one, I highly recommend it. I've never experienced something as exhilarating as crossing that finish line, and I can't wait to do it again. Please pray for no rain!

Happiest New Year!

Christmas 2011

Oh my goodness, y'all. I ate so much, and I think I'm still full from all the Christmas food that I consumed over the course of four days. I'm guessing that will make my quest to lose a few pounds in January that much more challenging. Well. Oh well.

This year Christmas was magical for me and I was overcome with so many memories of Christmases from my childhood and time spent with my grandparents. It was good for my soul.

Once again we were reminded of how truly blessed we are. Not at all because of things. But because of the people we get to love on and spend time with, and most of all because of the precious gift of salvation that we received from a beautiful God whose depth of love I will never fully grasp this side of heaven.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year...from us!

Remembering...

There are some moments in your life that are, unfortunately, branded on your heart and mind, and I will never forget where I was and what I was doing when I got the call that our friend Bayn was gone. I was drying my hair and getting ready to go finish my Christmas shopping when I got the initial call. And...I remember where I was when I spoke on the phone for the first time to a few of my coworkers after we all found out. I was making a cherry pie for the first time ever when Buffy called. I was on the couch crying when Shelley called. And I was in the parking lot of Kroger when Lisa called. And thinking back on that stirs up the same emotions and knot in my stomach that I had that day and that I carried around with me for the rest of the Christmas break. That was a year ago this week, and one of the most difficult things I've ever faced. I am sure my coworkers would agree as we had just been with him the Friday before at our monthly meeting and everything seemed fine. He was his usual Bayn self and little did we know that it would be our last time to see him. Things like that are hard to make sense of and seem to always be accompanied with the second-guessing of your own interactions with that person and thoughts like 'why didn't I pay more attention', or 'I wonder if he knew that I cared about him'. And...always makes me want to be a better person and friend.

Passionate is the most descriptive word I can think of for him because no matter what he liked or didn't like he did so with more passion than anyone I've ever known. You never had to guess how he felt about something. If he liked it, he loved it. If he disliked it, well...that was no secret either. But that was him, and his life ended way too abruptly and way too soon. He is sorely missed at work, and at our monthly meetings there is always something that isn't quite right now. His absence is felt deeply.

I pray you are resting peacefully, Bayn. Your sphere of influence was bigger than you probably knew or ever imagined.

Why me?

I sure can think of a lot of ways to be spending my time right now that are better than what I'm doing. Sleeping is at the top of the list. When you take a Zyrtec at 3 p.m. instead of right before bedtime, though, being awake at 1:44 a.m. tends to be the result. Boo. Hiss.

Which brings me to my next point. It sure is an inopportune time to be sick with a 'make everyone leave the room cough' and fever. I don't have my shopping and baking done and, well, I'm not even close to being done. I wonder if my loved ones would mind receiving some used Tupperware this year and some fudge from Rocky Mountain Chocolate Co. Boo. Hiss.

Anyway. I did get out this morning to get my shopping started and I picked up some goodies for most of the young people in my life. Teenage girls are so much easier to shop for than boys. Their toys are so much more expensive which leaves not a lot of choices for the aunts who are on a budget. But while I was out I was reminded a couple times that all the hurry and scurry of this season can bring out the worst in people. After being almost run over in the parking lot by someone who really needed that parking space and almost being knocked over in the aisle by a lady whose way I was in, I remembered why I prefer to get my shopping done early. Boo. Hiss.

But while I lay here awake in the middle of the night, I'm thankful that I have a good job that gives me a two week Christmas break, that I even have loved ones I need to buy Christmas gifts for, and that I'm snuggled up in a nice warm bed. So many only dream of having a fraction of that. And I wonder...why me?

I is not so smart after all...

I am fired from the tech position in my home. And that makes me glad.

Last week Brad told me that his mail was not updating on his phone and it kept giving him error messages. Friday he started having problems with his email on his computer, and because of our mad schedule last week and through the weekend I kept putting off the task of taking a looksie since I have been the resident help desk in our home. Well...Sunday he cornered me and stamped his feet and jumped up and down and said, "Woman, fix my email!". Ok...well that is a little exaggerated but that makes for a better story!

Anyway.

I finally sat down to troubleshoot Sunday evening before the debacle at Jerry's World. And as I thought through how to fix it, I walked myself through this kind of issue at work and decided to take the route that I would take at work. So I clicked here and I clicked there. Here a click. There a click. Everywhere a click click. Ahem. Ok...so...I set up a new profile for him. Proud...I started up that puppy and that dadgum thing still gave me the error that it was giving him. Stupid computer. So I said, "I'm leaving this error on here and you are going to have to call and find out that password tomorrow." Which...if he'd done that in the first place none of this would've happened. But that is neither here nor there.

The next morning my very frustrated husband called me at my desk and said, "I got the password and now I'm in email, but all of my calendar appointments are missing, I can't find any of my contacts, and I now only have 13 emails!!"

Uh-oh.

Of course you lost everything because 1) I didn't practice what I preach at work by backing things up before I removed, and clicked, and deleted, and rebooted. And 2) because...um...oh yes...at work we are on an Exchange server and when I set up a new profile for a user at work, their email just populates like it should.

So for the last two days my shoulders have been up in my ears and my stomach has been in knots and my eye has been twitching because my husband was at home wondering what appointments he was missing and wondering how he was going to get back all of the documents that he had stored in email. And. I. Felt. Horrible. And worried. And tense.

But God. Oh my. But God. Funny how I always get the opportunity at some point in a crisis to say that.

I went to work today with my shoulders in my ears and went down to see my friend who is one of the most spiritually mature women I've ever known. She is a prayer warrior and is armed and ready at any second of the day. I always go to her when I need advice, when I need to vent, and when I need to be reminded of Who I serve. So today I went to her and told her what happened and that I knew that God knows where that email file is and exactly how to restore it and that I needed Him to show me or Brad or someone what to do. So she said she would call her husband because he was pretty techie and might know of a way to restore it. So she called him and he said, "should I call Brad?" She said yes and so he did.

About an hour later I got a text from Brad telling me that Joe, Takeia's husband, walked him through a system restore and was able to locate and retrieve everything we thought he'd lost. Praise-a-llujah y'all!

It may not seem like a huge deal. But there is way more to the story than what is written here. He knew before I ever met Takeia that this was going to happen and that Joe was the guy he'd use to help troubleshoot the problem. He knew at this season in time that I would need a fresh reminder of Who He is and what He's about. He knew. And He cared. And He went before us to orchestrate a series of events that would lead me to this blog to give Him the Glory that is due Him.

And He knows what you're facing. He knows how big or how small it is to you. And He cares...regardless of the size. He's gone before you to bring you to the season that you're in. Don't panic. And...Don't give up on Him. He's writing a beautiful story with you as the lead character. Anticipate.

Anticipate something beautiful.

The little things

It's been a little bit since I posted about things for which I am thankful, and I've come up with some things that make me smile.

1) Large text on my iPhone. Oh my. Mamaw can see, y'all!

2) Vince Gill's Christmas album, "Let There Be Peace On Earth". It's from a long time ago and it is go-ood.

3) Laughter. This one got me good and I laughed so hard I quit making noise and all I could do was slap my knee.

4) Technology. This is my mom getting a reading from her pacemaker to let her know all is well. And that gets a double dose of thankful.

And along those same lines I'm thankful for the Internet. I couldn't remember the word pacemaker so I googled "thing inside your chest to regulate your heartbeat" and voila - pacemaker popped up!

5) App updates. Yay!! Now I can play a Beth Moore video from the Life Today app without it stopping every time my iPhone screen goes to sleep!

6) The Original Bed Buddy Hot & Cold Pack. Woooweeee! I just throw that puppy in the microwave for one minute and apply the OBB to wherever mamaw hurts!

That's all...till next time.

Because my mom did it...

Saturday night eight other couples will gather at our house for our 3rd annual couples' Christmas bunko and I am so excited about it. It really is fun for people who like loud, and I do if it involves laughter and silliness, and this party does. It does.

Anyway, I went to the grocery store to get all the ingredients for all the food I'm going to make and I do believe that if I ever need a job as a cook for the army, I will have quite a resume to give them. I get it from my mom. My dad was a pastor and every year at Christmas we would have this big open house at Christmas and invite the whole church and my mom would cook for several days beforehand. Oh the food. It was everywhere. And. It. Was. Good. And so that's why I do it. Because my mom did.

Anyway...tonight I made my first yummy. It is a recipe I got from my friend, Tracy. I don't know what the actual name of it is called so I call it Tracy's Mix of Goodness. Here it is...

1 egg white
1/2 c sugar
1/2 t cinnamon
1/2 t salt
1 c almonds
2 c pretzels
1 c dried cranberries

Whip the egg white and add the sugar, cinnamon, and salt to it. Pour over the other. Bake for an hour at 225 - stirring every 15 minutes.

OMG.

Buffalo gals wontcha come out tonight...

I can't get to the end of the holiday season without watching It's a Wonderful Life at least three times because it is my all-time favorite Christmas movie! I love George Bailey and all his "silly stupid kids" and it is just not Christmas for me without him.

Sometimes I am like George Bailey, and sometimes I need a wake up call to remind me of all that I've got. It is no secret that I long to have children, yet at 43, have still not been blessed in that way. It is a struggle that I have dealt with for a really long time and have experienced much grief around the issue. The holidays are especially difficult because I'm surrounded with the reminder that I don't get the opportunity to experience the story of Baby Jesus, Santa or the Elf on the Shelf with my own little ones. At every turn, I'm surrounded by friends and acquaintances that are blessed in this very way. And I grieve all over again. It is the thing that hangs over my head and threatens my faith much like George Bailey's unsolicited inheritance - Bailey Bros. Building & Loan. Sometimes I'm able to hide the pain, and sometimes I'm not.

But. I didn't say all that to fish for some sympathy. I wrote it because the pain is raw again, and since I've walked this road for so long and because I've learned so much about Who God is, I need to acknowledge it and put it in its proper perspective. If I don't acknowledge it, it is the thing that can set my mind in motion to full on destruction and get me in a terrible place emotionally for a good amount of time...and...going to that place serves no purpose for the common good of me, my family, or anyone who crosses my path. Those are rags that I'm learning to not put back on again in my journey to being clothed in strength.

I also mention it because I know that I'm not alone. I know that there are others who feel this kind of pain every day. Maybe it's not the inability to have children. Maybe it's nothing like that. Whatever it is, it is real and it is valid, and I wholly believe that you (and I) are loved and you (and I) have not been forgotten.

In the movie, George is down and out, and things have gone south, and he sits at a bar and prays. He then encounters Clarence and it gets worse from there and everyone is acting weird and nobody even knows him including his wife and mother. When Clarence asks him why he's bleeding, he says, "I got a bust in the jaw in answer to a prayer." I've felt like George. I've thought many times that my prayers don't matter, but ALWAYS at the end of a season, I've been able to look back and see that God did answer my prayers. Not always has He answered in the way I prayed, but He's always made me well aware that He heard me and His answers have always been for my good. I will not stop praying for what matters to my heart.

It IS a wonderful life. I get to wake up every day to a wonderful husband who loves me; I was placed in two families who would go to the ends of the earth for me; I am surrounded by a plethora of friends who are like family to me; and I am blessed beyond measure.

Acknowledge your pain, give it it's due attention, cry out to God and tell Him how it hurts. And then...go...give your guardian angel his wings!

Surrender

Have you ever been in a situation where you know beyond the shadow of a doubt that God is trying to get your attention about something because everywhere you turn you see or hear something around the same topic? Have you ever been so worried that if you surrender yourself and your life to Christ that He will make you get rid of all your things and move to Africa?

Well.

So.

Hmmmm.

It all started a couple years ago when my brother sent us a letter about a missions trip to Zambia he would be participating in with his church and asked that we prayerfully consider helping him to raise funds to help him go. At that time we were down to one income and our pennies were being stretched as far as possible so we were only able to help by praying for him. The next year, we received another letter from him with the same request for another trip to Zambia. It 'just so happened' (I love it when things 'just so happen'!) that around that same time Brad's boss had requested each partner to find a charity or organization that the company could donate money to. Each would be receiving a generous donation. Brad chose my brother.

Fast forward 4 months to early December 2010. We were out Christmas shopping and 'just so happened' to stop in Family Christian...where World Vision had set up a kiosk to sponsor a child from another country. The kiosk was magnetic and we could not leave the store. We chose Eric. He is from Rwanda.

About a month ago, my brother emailed me on my birthday and at the end of his greeting asked if we wanted to go with them to Zambia next summer. I replied and gave him some excuses as to why we can't. And then I talked with my husband about it and he was interested in finding out more about it, so I emailed my brother back and asked for the dates. He sent me an attachment with all the info and said, "Don't let the cost scare you. If God wants you to go, he will make a way."

And since that day we have been bombarded with something about Africa At. Every.Turn. !!

I don't know what He has in store. Maybe He's not going to have us get rid of our life as we know it and move to Africa. Maybe He just wants us to go on a missions trip there. Maybe not. What I do know is this...

Psalm 139:1-10
1 O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. 2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. 3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. 4 Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord. 5 You hem me in –behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. 7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? 8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, 10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.

Where are all the snuggies?

I've known for about a month now that my gift for my angel was due on Wednesday morning, November 30th. That's right...a month. Now, I've taken the time to put an appointment on my calendar every day in the last month to pick up a snuggie for my angel because "I don't want to try to have to find one at the last minute". AND on that appointment I have taken the time to set up an alert 15 minutes beforehand so that I will not forget. Well, I snoozed that appointment till the next day every single day for the last month. And like a champ...waited till this evening to go buy a snuggie for my angel. I couldn't find one! Walgreens - none. CVS - nope! Target - uh no! Kirklands - not this year! Well...until I stopped at Bed, Bath, and Beyond which is now my most favorite store on the planet. So, I will deliver my angel gift tomorrow morning and pray that this 15-year old boy is surrounded by the warmth and comfort of his new snuggie among all the other joys every boy his age should be experiencing at this most blessed time of year.

Guest Blogger

Y'all I'm so excited to introduce my first guest blogger today! Her name is Jenn and she is my married to my nephew, Chad, so technically she's my niece. I am honored to claim her as so.

This girl knows what it means to be clothed in strength. She is in love with Jesus and it shows in her every action...and if ever there was a threat to the adversary...she is it.

Oh yeah...and she is the mother of my great-niece, Anna Grace. If this doesn't make your heart flitter, I don't know what will.

Please go. Read her beautiful Thanksgiving post.

Enjoy...and Happy actual Thanksgiving today!!

Please pass the joy

In less than 12 hours the first of the Thanksgiving guests will arrive. I have visited the grocery store more than enough in the last two days but realized a few minutes ago that I still forgot the cherry pie filling! Hope there's some left.

So I'm mostly prepared for guests with enough food to fill their bellies while they're here, but I have to wonder if I'm prepared to fill their time here with grace. I fear I'm not. I fear I'm getting lost in the Martha mentality...rushing to fill my fridge and decorate my house and clean the floors and wash the sheets. And while those things are done and my house is ready to receive our guests, my soul feels barren and my 'joy' tank is running on fumes. And this...precisely this...is the exact opposite of what this holiday is all about. And in my search tonight of how I need to fill my tank, I'm humbled by the fact that I can't. I cannot serve myself up a dish of peace, love, and joy no matter how hard I try or put my mind to it. My resolve to just be dadgum peaceful is not just gonna happen. But...(there's always a but) what I do have is access to it. I have been graced with everything I need to have an overflow and all I have it do is put it on.

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.
(Col 3:12)

Because I am chosen and dearly loved! I dont have to do these things in order to be chosen and dearly loved...I already am. And so are you. All I have to do is take off my old rags and put on my new duds. They are there folded nice and neatly and ready to be worn. I pray I can. I pray that I'm so clothed with those virtues this week that my guests go home filled...not by turkey and gravy and buttery rolls, but by the fact they have been in the presence of Grace.

And my prayer is the same for you. That you are able to don the beauty of patience when Grandpa tells the same jokes he told last year. And the beauty of compassion when cousin invites you to her pity party. And the beauty of gentleness when Aunt's green bean casserole is missing an important ingredient. And certainly the beauty of kindness when sister-in-law serves you some tofurkey! I pray you would be filled with the wonder of Grace and that those who cross your path are profoundly affected because of it.

Happy Thanksgiving.

20 Years

So I remember what I was going to write about the other night when I started a post by saying how truly baffled I am at how quickly time passes by and then fell asleep in the middle of it. Mamaw needs her sleep! Anyway...I am baffled by how quickly time passes and last weekend I spent time with people I haven't seen in 20 years. 20 years! And when I graduated from college 20 years ago I had no idea how quickly it would go. Regardless, my 20-year college reunion was upon me and I was excited to see sweet friends who knew and loved me unconditionally during my most awkward stage of life. Most people's awkward stage is in middle school but I was always a little behind and mine graced me in college.

So my sister who was celebrating her 25-year reunion picked me up on her way up from Austin, and we went together. And we had 3 hours in a car by ourselves uninterrupted for the first time in at least 15 years and we did not allow any lull in the conversation!

After we arrived in OKC we went to the campus for the men's homecoming basketball game. They have built a new center for the basketball and put an area above the basketball court for reunioners which is where we all stood during the game to catch up. Afterward we went to our class parties - first to mine and then to Patti's. My cheeks hurt after smiling and laughing so much. But it was fun and good to see these people.

Then Saturday after our reunion luncheons we went back to my folks' house and my nephew came over and brought his cutie wife and baby and we got to spend some time with them. My nephew loves to be with us because we giggle at everything he says and the more we giggle the more he performs for us. And speaking of how time goes by so quickly, he is a father! I remember going with his mother to drop him off at his first day of Kindergarten. I had a huge lump in my throat that day and now he's a daddy! And the same emotions that caused the lump in my throat that day are still stirred by him and all my nephews and nieces, who are also grown, and I still get the same lump when they reach milestones today.

Time does go fast. I want to spend it soaking up the blessing of waking up every day, and I want to spend it loving others well. I haven't always. But it's not to late to start.

Rambling

Sometimes I'm truly baffled by how quickly time passes. And I know it does and I often dpdddddfs

Ok. That first "paragraph" was something I started while I was laying in bed last night. I guess I fell asleep with my finger on the d on my smartphone keyboard. And...well...I have no idea what I was going to write about but I guess I had been overcome by the realization of how quickly time passes by.

Anyway.

Pinterest. I'm totally addicted. Totally. I have a lot of pins and a lot of projects on the list. Enough to keep me busy for the next 3 or 4 years. I started with this and I love it.

It is hanging in my entry way and I love it, by the way.

I also pinned this on my Organization board because I love organization.


Now...I'm not organized at all, but I love the idea, and I admire people who are. So...when I saw this idea on Pinterest, I was pumped because for $1.39, the area under my kitchen sink was going to become a really cool place. But when I did it, this is what happened. And, y'all...it won't stay, and I am not a natural DIYer, so I have no idea what gadget to go buy to make it work. Please help.

I'm done rambling now. Centennial High School is in the playoffs and they are spanking every team that darkens their doorstep. So I gotta go watch my niece cheer them on. Go Titans!

COST - co

I really should have known before we went that getting out of Costco with just the two items on our list was wishful thinking! I mean I had convinced my man to go with me and that it would be fun and I just wanted to get a couple things and we wouldn't be there very long. And so I'm not sure if I was trying to convince him or myself! Because, well...we didn't make it out of there with only two items, and our $20 turned into...ummm...$100. But. It was fun. So I was right about one thing!

Veggie Straws. Holy deliciousness! Go get some.

Lighted make-up mirror. Now maybe my make-up won't look so scary every day and one eye won't have more eye shadow than the other. It's always good to shed a little light into the darkness!

We use to have this flimsy white piece of paper covering us.

And it would cause our bedspread to be like this.

And I was like - dang!

But now we have this warm, snuggly blanket for our bed.

With this one our bedspread doesn't fall to the floor. And now I'm like - hooray!

It's a good thing I bought a huge package of lunch meat because I'll need it when the army gets here! No photo because we've already eaten a good portion of it and there's not enough left for the army!

And finally relief for my arthritic neck. Embarrassing. I know. But yes - arthritis. With this wonderful new tempur-pedic (sp?) pillow, I no longer wake up with a sore neck! Hallelujah!

And then there were a couple personal items. But I'm not going to tell what they are because it's personal!

I heart Costco. So glad there's a brand new one right across the street. Guess I'll need to continue to work so I can fund the habit.

Laundry room woes

My towels stink! Yes. Stink. For several weeks now - only in the mornings - my laundry room has been greeting us with the lovely stench of - well - sewage. I know. Gross! For the life of me I can't figure out why it's only in the mornings, and I'm not sure I want to figure it out. Really, I just want to walk by my laundry room and be greeted with the fresh spring scent of my detergent and fabric softener. And apparently, that's asking too much. But anyway, we finally got our landlords over here yesterday morning, and you guessed it...there was no smell of sewage. I mean nowhere near...not even one little bit! That is until I used a clean towel that I had just pulled from the dryer, which stank! And that, my friends, tells me that the water I've been washing my clothes in is not clean. So...I'm no plumber...or whatever handyman takes care of that type of problem, but I will get to the bottom of this. And in the mean time, I've got to figure out where to wash my laundry!

43

I've been getting used to the idea of being 43 for a few months now, so when I actually turned 43 last week it was no big deal. And when I say I've been getting used to the idea all I really mean is that instead of saying I'm 42, I've been telling people that I'm almost 43. I don't know why. I mean really...43? There are worse things. I guess. And I'm not sure what sparked any conversations over the last few months about my age. I don't think I've just blurted that info out. Surely there was good cause to engage in such small talk.

Anyway, yuck on the Rangers. My shoulders were up in my ears by the time the Cardinals hit that last home run in - what - the 18th inning last Thursday. And had my husband been here to watch it with me he would have been proud at how I was yelling at the t.v. one moment and high-fiving myself the next. It's true what they say about married people starting to look alike and think alike after a while. I have secretly judged him (ok not secretly, but out loud and proud) and been annoyed by him being a fair-weathered fan of the home teams. Which, I have heard from several girlfriends that their husbands do the same thing. Love em when they're winning; hate em when they're losing. And during those last two games I. Did. It. I became the fair-weathered fan in the house. And I realized it while I was standing on the couch wondering in high volume, "how did you really miss catching that ball?!" But really...they made some pathetic mistakes that cost them the World Series...again! But hey...third times a charm, right?

And as I sit here and make my opinion known about their mistakes, I'm reminded of my own. My present, past, and even future failures. And as I am reminded of my own yuck I have to give even that up in prayer so that I am not beaten down in condemnation by the adversary. For such a long time I gave myself over to lies about myself -never understanding, believing, or embracing what God says about me. I've been paralyzed for much of my life by the ugly truth of my fallen nature and have operated as if those lies were true. As if they define who I am and that I can't ever be anything any different. I chose for a long time to sit in the prison cell of my own flesh nature even though the door was wide open and I'd been freed to go. I'm thankful, though, that the lightbulb has been turned on to living free, and when I couldn't find that switch to flip, Grace reached through the darkness and turned it on.

Thank You, Steve Jobs

I was reading one of my favorite blogs tonight where the author of the post paid tribute to Steve Jobs by doing an iPhone dump. I thought it was an excellent idea so I've decided to do my own. I have a LOT more photos on my phone than this...of many random things...but I will only share a few.

I liked what President Obama said in his statement about the passing of Steve Jobs: "The world has lost a visionary. And there may be no greater tribute to Steve's success than the fact that much of the world learned of his passing on a device he invented."

So, thank you, Mr. Jobs for providing the opportunity for me to capture these memories that I probably wouldn't have if I didn't have an iPhone.

This is a picture of the band at the Journey concert that I attended with a friend a couple weeks ago. It was so great and there were a billion people there. It took me back to my high school days...and that was a very long time ago!

This is a picture of my husband with a sweet baby named Cruz.



I was with my sister in Nordstrom Rack one day not too long ago trying on shoes. We were definitely on the wrong aisle. That is a big shoe, y'all!

Brad Paisley. Greatness in Frisco, TX!

Although you can't see it too well, the sun was setting in the western sky. It was beautiful and I felt the need to capture it. Unfortunately, the Dallas North Tollway was in the way! Oh to live in the country!!


An excellent, excellent recipe. I was in the store and I couldn't remember what I needed, so I pulled that recipe up on my iPhone, took a screenshot, and voila...my grocery list was at my fingertips!


This is Lucy. She was my house guest last week while her family vacationed in the magical kingdom of Disney World. I had so much fun spoiling her.


And to top it off...I posted this from my recently downloaded Blogger App on my iPhone. Rest in peace, Mr. Jobs. You truly made a difference in the world!

Finally!

Blogger finally has an iPhone app and I'm posting this entry from my garage! Woot!

The weather, the election, and my website

The cool front that blew in over the weekend has been a welcomed pleasantry. For the first time since I started back to work, I got in my car at the end of the day and did not burn my legs or sweat through the fabric of whatever I was wearing. That makes me happy. And it really makes me ready for Fall. Pumpkins, falling leaves, sweatshirts in the evening, football, the Texas State Fair, and Pumpkin Spice Lattes...it just doesn't get any better.

Along with Fall honing in on us comes the political circus that is settling in and invading our homes for the next year. I'm sitting here in my living room with the first Republican Candidate Debate making ruckus in the background...and I can't help but wonder when the cast of Saturday Night Live will start making fun of all of them. That's the extent of my interest in politics. Which reminds me that I need to register to vote!

I'm getting excited because there are more shoes appearing on my website for purchasing. Some of them are ridiculous...and expensive, but there are some cute ones on there as well. I recently got these and am wearing the heck out of them. I've gotten a lot of compliments on them as well. We are in the midst of ordering our Fall collections. I've seen some of what we're getting and I'm very excited. If you like boots, you will want to visit my site often. There's several different styles coming in. Go take a looksie - www.clothedinstrength.mytothenines.com.

Tomorrow is already Thursday. I LOVE four-day weeks.

FBN

My brother-in-law was on Fox Business News last week to discuss how to better manage a business's technology.

Friday night randomness

The first two weeks of school has kicked my hiney! Going from waking up whenever I wake up and after lunch naps to waking up to an alarm at 5:30 every day is a difficult transition for the 40somethings!

I don't have much to blog about except that we had a surprise party for my mother-in-law tonight to celebrate her 68th birthday. Mission accomplished. She was surprised! And I could have done without the ginormous sopapilla! But it was really good.

Oh and my hair is slightly blonder than it was earlier this week. I used it well today! Just ask my friend Shelley!

My husband is home from his business trip and I'm really glad. I like him better here than halfway across the country. But it was a productive trip for him and for that I'm glad.

My desk setup at one of my campuses is extremely ergonomically incorrect and my shoulders and arthritic neck are paying the price. I'm hoping to find a good deal on a new desk chair this weekend...one with arm rests. Hoping we'll hit a good Labor Day sale.

Three day weekend. I get to meet my great niece for the first time. Down time with my man. Coffee with girlfriends. Coffee. Poolside. Movies. Coffee. Three day weekend. Life don't suck!

My list for today...

I must blog today about some things for which I am thankful, otherwise, I'm likely to head down another path! That's the kind of day it's been. And I feel it in my shoulders.

I started a list on my iPhone last week called 'Thankful For...'. My thought was that I would add things to that list every day when I came across things that make me smile. The first thing I added was gum! Apparently, I was very happy to have gum that day. Now...my memory is not the greatest in the world, but I believe that I added gum to my list because I was talking to a friend last week while I was enjoying my morning coffee. Now...some people can drink coffee in the morning and still have pleasant breath. I am not one of those people. Definitely. As I was talking to my friend this particular morning, she interrupted me with a look of pain on her face and asked, "Do you have a piece of gum I can have?" I was horrified because I know it wasn't her breath she was concerned with! Fortunately I did have a piece of gum and I gave her one. I also chomped on a piece for myself. And now she is still my friend! So...I am thankful for gum!




This makes my heart melt. And I LOVE things that make my heart melt!

When I have fear or worry or uncertainty, I'm thankful that
God reminds me what He's capable of and how much He
cares about making provision for His creation.

And I am thankful for the truth of this quote...

"The gospel is good news of mercy to the undeserving. The symbol of the religion of Jesus is the cross, not the scales" [that weigh our deeds both good and bad]
~John Stott

And today...especially today...I'm thankful and humbled by John 14:27 - Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

So I won't. At least for today.

Things I Love

Today I decided I needed to come up with some things for which I'm thankful...things I love. So often I can get into the rut of finding things to complain about and if this were that kind of post, unfortunately, the entry would probably be a lot longer than the one I am writing. I believe strongly that I can give great power to the words that come out of my mouth and I am in a season of wanting to change those words to have a positive nature rather than a negative one. Hopefully, as I venture out that the norm will become that the positive heavily outweighs the negative. So...here they are...things I love.

1. The boy in this picture with me. If I've said it once, I've said it a million times...he's a God-send.


2. The 5 other people in this picture with me. This is my family. I could try to describe how I feel about them, but there really are no words that would adequately do so. If you have a close family, then you understand what I'm talking about. I love them dearly.




3. E-Mealz. O.M.G. This has changed my life!! You must go directly to their website and try it out.


4. Candles. Love how they smell and love how they spread a fresh scent all through my house. My favorite candles are Tyler candles.





5. Toasted almonds. I could eat these in anything. Sometimes, I will mix them with Archer Farms dried cherries and it is a h.e.a.v.e.n.l.y. snack. At Christmas time, I will add the miniature Hershey's chocolate kisses to the mix. I put them in my salad. I eat them by themselves. And tonight, I added them to the dinner I made from e-mealz!





So there you have it. Five things that I love. What do you love?

It's 3:07 a.m.

That's right! 3:07 in the morning!! I went to bed at 10:00 and fell right to sleep. I've been awakened a bazillion times since then. I've visited Pinterest and repinned some yummy treats. Played Mahjong 3D and ended with a 6-digit score. Facebook. Twitter. Read Big Mama's blog archives. Reorganized my iPhone apps. Perused my photos. Recited my scripture memory verse several times with which my husband should be very thankful! Surfed the app store and found this mobile blogging app called Blog Booster. Here's a picture from my camera roll...
That's Lucille Ball. I love her! It's 3:15 now.

Leather wrapped bracelets

I have been looking everywhere for this kind of bracelet and have not had much luck. However, as I was browsing Pinterest today, I came across this blog on how to make one. Maybe I'll give it a try.

Forgiveness

Yikes...that's a tough one! I'm going through a study right now called The Fitting Room by Kelly Minter, and forgiveness happens to be the chapter I'm on. This book is written around Colossians 3:12 ~ Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. The author writes, 'I've always had plenty of these virtues till the moment I need them', and oh how true that is for me as well. It's easy for me to walk a friend through trusting God in the midst of difficult circumstances, or forgiving someone who hurt them, or having compassion on someone who just doesn't have a filter, but the moment I need to put those virtues into practice I become a novice! Knowing and doing are quite different!

So...forgiveness. After reading this chapter, I've been enlightened on a few things. Humbling.

First - we are often unwilling to forgive others because we have not accepted the forgiveness of Christ for ourselves, and the first cannot take place before the second.

Next - when we don't like something about someone else and are quick to judge them for it or whine to others about it, sometimes it's because we possess that same quality. We despise it in ourselves but have not received the forgiveness of Christ yet for that quality in ourselves.

Also - when we fixate on the trespass of another person, it's often because we are feeling guilty about something in our own life.

I've had to do some deep soul-searching and praying. As always, He's faithful to show me what I need to move forward in my journey. I asked and received, I sought and found, I knocked and the door has been opened. Now I have the choice to tackle it on my own or to surrender it to Him and allow Him to turn it into something beautiful.

I want beauty for ashes.

I really do.

Summer Highlights

It's HOT y'all! I remember the heat wave in 1980 when it got up to 113 one day. I burned my legs every time I crawled into the green station wagon and sat on the green vinyl seats. That was a long time ago.

I had a fabulous summer. It was way too short, though, and have been dragging all week since I started back to work on Monday.

I'll stop whining now.

Here are a few of my highlights from the summer of 2011, although, it does not even scratch the surface of all the fun I had!

This photo album customized with Smilebox

A little behind...

It's Spring Break...and I'm just getting my holiday pictures and videos organized. Merry Christmas from the Duke family...3 months late!

Duke Family Christmas from Deanna Collins on Vimeo.

Clothed in Strength

I'm a runner. A simple sentence I never ever pictured coming together in my head much less coming out my mouth. But it's true. And...I'm living proof that there is nothing is impossible without a little work, sweat, and perseverance.

There was one point in my life where I couldn't have run for any amount of time or distance...well unless I was running from the couch to the fridge or pantry! I didn't have the mental, physical, or emotional endurance to do anything except live in defeat. And this was the result...

I often think back to that time and am ashamed more of where I was emotionally than where I was physically. Maybe ashamed is a little too harsh because the fact is that this is where I was and what I knew and I had no idea...at that time...that it was such an unhealthy place to be or how to change anything about myself. After all...you don't know what you don't know till you know what you didn't know. My physical defeat was one of the direct results of my emotional defeat. But the more destructive result was the defeat that was running rampant in my heart. Luke 6:45 says, 'For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks'...and this was true for me. I recall many times when those who were close to me tried their best to encourage me, and I would always be quick to renounce anything good for or about myself. Many times my first reaction would be to let everyone around me know what a loser I was and how I couldn't do anything right. I was moody. I was negative. Untrusting. Sad. Hopeless.

It makes me sick today to think about how much time I wasted living in defeat. The crazy thing is that that mindset and those lies I operated from didn't go away when I lost weight. They are something I still struggle with. I still struggle with being moody and negative and defeated because that is all I have to offer by myself. But by the abundant grace of God, He's teaching me more every day how to be clothed in strength. How to know, in my head and my heart, that I was chosen for a specific purpose and that I was 'fearfully and wonderfully made'. So...it's my pleasure to say that I AM a runner. And in this race that I'm in, there are curves, potholes, uneven terrain, and others who splash you when they run through puddles. But if I keep my eyes focused on the finish line and the One who will be there to cheer me on and place a medal around my neck, then I can endure all that stuff because crossing the finish line in any race is a feeling like no other.

3m Half Marathon - Jan. 30, 2011

OKC Memorial Half Marathon - May 1, 2011

Boundaries

I read this book, Boundaries, a long time ago when I realized that my lack of boundary setting was a barrier in my spiritual and emotional growth. Reading it was...to say the least...a pivotal moment in my life; and it shed a lot of light on much that was confusing to me. I recently found the authors' website that has many video excerpts from their seminars, and they are excellent tools to refer if you are like me and have difficulty with setting (or knowing) boundaries in your life - Cloud & Townsend