Clothed in Strength

I'm a runner. A simple sentence I never ever pictured coming together in my head much less coming out my mouth. But it's true. And...I'm living proof that there is nothing is impossible without a little work, sweat, and perseverance.

There was one point in my life where I couldn't have run for any amount of time or distance...well unless I was running from the couch to the fridge or pantry! I didn't have the mental, physical, or emotional endurance to do anything except live in defeat. And this was the result...

I often think back to that time and am ashamed more of where I was emotionally than where I was physically. Maybe ashamed is a little too harsh because the fact is that this is where I was and what I knew and I had no idea...at that time...that it was such an unhealthy place to be or how to change anything about myself. After all...you don't know what you don't know till you know what you didn't know. My physical defeat was one of the direct results of my emotional defeat. But the more destructive result was the defeat that was running rampant in my heart. Luke 6:45 says, 'For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks'...and this was true for me. I recall many times when those who were close to me tried their best to encourage me, and I would always be quick to renounce anything good for or about myself. Many times my first reaction would be to let everyone around me know what a loser I was and how I couldn't do anything right. I was moody. I was negative. Untrusting. Sad. Hopeless.

It makes me sick today to think about how much time I wasted living in defeat. The crazy thing is that that mindset and those lies I operated from didn't go away when I lost weight. They are something I still struggle with. I still struggle with being moody and negative and defeated because that is all I have to offer by myself. But by the abundant grace of God, He's teaching me more every day how to be clothed in strength. How to know, in my head and my heart, that I was chosen for a specific purpose and that I was 'fearfully and wonderfully made'. So...it's my pleasure to say that I AM a runner. And in this race that I'm in, there are curves, potholes, uneven terrain, and others who splash you when they run through puddles. But if I keep my eyes focused on the finish line and the One who will be there to cheer me on and place a medal around my neck, then I can endure all that stuff because crossing the finish line in any race is a feeling like no other.

3m Half Marathon - Jan. 30, 2011

OKC Memorial Half Marathon - May 1, 2011