Time creeps slowly by when you're waiting on a life-changing event that may or may not happen.
Over the next several weeks, we exchanged letters back and forth through the mail. She introduced herself and told us a little bit about herself, and then she requested the same of us, so we each wrote her a letter. As we got more familiar over mail, she requested that we set up a phone account so that she could call us every once in a while to talk even more. Once we set up the account, she was able to call us, and did so once or twice a week. The more we got to know her, the more real and surreal this whole situation got. And with each new development the more aware we were of just how God-orchestrated this whole thing was.
During our first phone call, she let us know that we were it. Her choice for her baby. In fact, we were her only choice and she had a feeling this baby would come early. "Have you hired an attorney yet who could get the paperwork started?" she wondered out loud to us.
Things were getting real!
By this time it was late in July and we needed to secure an attorney. So…on the last day of July, we met with an adoption attorney, who we had been referred to by one of Brad's acquaintances, and felt good about our visit and hired him. He did not sugarcoat anything and told us that he would not speculate on how well this might go and let us know that our biggest mountain to overcome would be the tribe. Under the Indian Child Welfare Act, if the tribe wanted this baby…they would get him and there was nothing we could do and our quest to adopt this baby would be over. We left his office with the understanding that he would notify the tribe and begin to work with them to find out how involved they would be.
Pins and needles became our way of existing. Actually...my way of existing. My husband, my hero, was calm, collected and full of faith in "our God who brought us to this and will bring us through this". I knew he was right and that if it were not God's will then it was something I really didn't want. I'd lived out a few painful situations in my distant past that were not in His will and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I never wanted to be out of His will again. I also knew very deeply that regardless of the outcome, my God is good and He would use it all for our good and His glory.
Still the temptation to believe that it was 'too good to be true' weighed heavily on my heart and the battle was intense between faith and hopelessness. I wanted this with every fiber of my being and was beyond excited that we had gotten this far, but frightened to the core that something or someone would thwart the desired outcome. After all, we not only were out of state, but we were dealing with an individual who was incarcerated that was part Native American, and DHS would most certainly be involved if we got past the tribe. It was messy, and we had a lot of obstacles working against us.
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Days turned into weeks and our attorney's communication skills left a lot to be desired. A week and half went by and we heard nothing from him. He did not return emails or phone calls, and my angst that he had taken the retainer fee and run was getting the best of me. I had knots in my stomach and eating became a chore. The only thing over which I had control…again…was to pray. So I did and, as always, my peace was restored. God used my busy schedule at work, reminders of His Sovereignty throughout each day, and sent many breadcrumbs of encouragement my way to do so. For the first time in my grown up life, I was actually starting to see the answers to things I was asking of Him daily while waiting on the answer to the big thing I was asking of Him. And in that I was being sustained. I had to be careful to purposefully feast on the manna He was providing one day at a time. When I focused too far into the future, fear became my companion and I would unravel quickly. Those days weren't fun...for anyone!
We finally heard from lawyer Larry after he returned from vacation which we did not know he was on. He was calm and casual and not too worried that time was waning and we weren't too far out from the due date of the baby. He had not contacted the tribe. He had not scheduled our Home Study. He had not hired an attorney in Oklahoma to take care of that side of things. No…he had been on vacation and we were the last of his worries.
I had to pray some more.
And a little bit more.
And then some more.
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On Wednesday, September 4th, after several fires we had to light under our attorney, we got word that the baby fell 1/16th short of what the tribe considered Native Ameircan. We were now free to continue our pursuit of adopting a baby boy, whom we had started referring to as Jackson Bradley, and the tribe would not be involved at all in trying to get him.
I don't know if I've ever experienced such relief. This was our biggest obstacle and in one phone call this obstacle had been removed.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11
