Remembering...

There are some moments in your life that are, unfortunately, branded on your heart and mind, and I will never forget where I was and what I was doing when I got the call that our friend Bayn was gone. I was drying my hair and getting ready to go finish my Christmas shopping when I got the initial call. And...I remember where I was when I spoke on the phone for the first time to a few of my coworkers after we all found out. I was making a cherry pie for the first time ever when Buffy called. I was on the couch crying when Shelley called. And I was in the parking lot of Kroger when Lisa called. And thinking back on that stirs up the same emotions and knot in my stomach that I had that day and that I carried around with me for the rest of the Christmas break. That was a year ago this week, and one of the most difficult things I've ever faced. I am sure my coworkers would agree as we had just been with him the Friday before at our monthly meeting and everything seemed fine. He was his usual Bayn self and little did we know that it would be our last time to see him. Things like that are hard to make sense of and seem to always be accompanied with the second-guessing of your own interactions with that person and thoughts like 'why didn't I pay more attention', or 'I wonder if he knew that I cared about him'. And...always makes me want to be a better person and friend.

Passionate is the most descriptive word I can think of for him because no matter what he liked or didn't like he did so with more passion than anyone I've ever known. You never had to guess how he felt about something. If he liked it, he loved it. If he disliked it, well...that was no secret either. But that was him, and his life ended way too abruptly and way too soon. He is sorely missed at work, and at our monthly meetings there is always something that isn't quite right now. His absence is felt deeply.

I pray you are resting peacefully, Bayn. Your sphere of influence was bigger than you probably knew or ever imagined.