Disappointed but not defeated

Today is March 25th and that means that it was the big day. The big day I thought enough of to put a countdown timer at the top of my blog. The day my running buddies and I have anticipated and looked forward to since December.

At the sound of the gun, our corral inched forward and crossed the starting line at 8:12. The butterflies had finally subsided and our race was underway. It was a gorgeous morning. Not a cloud in the sky. My first half marathon with an offering of good weather.

Shortly after I crossed the 2 mile mark I began to feel my knee...the one that started hurting about 3 weeks ago. The further I ran the more I felt it and by the 5k split, it was throbbing and locking up. I slowed to a walk but I WASN'T going to stop! I even had an invitation to ride on my friend's back and piggy back the 2012 Rock & Roll Half Marathon! Right after mile 4, I spotted a medic station and pulled over and took a seat. I thought maybe I could ice it or they could re-apply my KT tape or they might be able to give me some kind of tip to try to finish out the race successfully. Nope! Instead he told me, "You can't continue. This is only mile 4 and it would be very unwise to run any further with your knee in this shape." I cried.

And cried.

And cried some more.

But my will gave in and listened to what my body was saying to me. I walked to the ambulance, had them put an ice pack on it and walked to the next corner where my husband picked me up. And the tears wouldn't stop. I'm not sure when I've ever been so disappointed. Ever.

But as I sit here on my couch with ice piled on my knee, I'm thankful that cooler heads prevailed and I didn't choose to injure it more because of pride. I'm thankful that I have a wonderful husband who knew the minute he heard my voice that something was wrong and couldn't get to me fast enough. I'm thankful that once he got to me he just wrapped his arms around me and let me cry all over him. That I got to be at the finish line to see my friends cross it. That I have the kind of friends who would offer to carry me on their back and cry with me over my disappointment and send me verses from the Bible to keep me encouraged. I am truly blessed. I will get up off the ground, shake off the dust, and look forward to healing for the next race. I am disappointed but not defeated.