Please pass the joy

In less than 12 hours the first of the Thanksgiving guests will arrive. I have visited the grocery store more than enough in the last two days but realized a few minutes ago that I still forgot the cherry pie filling! Hope there's some left.

So I'm mostly prepared for guests with enough food to fill their bellies while they're here, but I have to wonder if I'm prepared to fill their time here with grace. I fear I'm not. I fear I'm getting lost in the Martha mentality...rushing to fill my fridge and decorate my house and clean the floors and wash the sheets. And while those things are done and my house is ready to receive our guests, my soul feels barren and my 'joy' tank is running on fumes. And this...precisely this...is the exact opposite of what this holiday is all about. And in my search tonight of how I need to fill my tank, I'm humbled by the fact that I can't. I cannot serve myself up a dish of peace, love, and joy no matter how hard I try or put my mind to it. My resolve to just be dadgum peaceful is not just gonna happen. But...(there's always a but) what I do have is access to it. I have been graced with everything I need to have an overflow and all I have it do is put it on.

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.
(Col 3:12)

Because I am chosen and dearly loved! I dont have to do these things in order to be chosen and dearly loved...I already am. And so are you. All I have to do is take off my old rags and put on my new duds. They are there folded nice and neatly and ready to be worn. I pray I can. I pray that I'm so clothed with those virtues this week that my guests go home filled...not by turkey and gravy and buttery rolls, but by the fact they have been in the presence of Grace.

And my prayer is the same for you. That you are able to don the beauty of patience when Grandpa tells the same jokes he told last year. And the beauty of compassion when cousin invites you to her pity party. And the beauty of gentleness when Aunt's green bean casserole is missing an important ingredient. And certainly the beauty of kindness when sister-in-law serves you some tofurkey! I pray you would be filled with the wonder of Grace and that those who cross your path are profoundly affected because of it.

Happy Thanksgiving.

20 Years

So I remember what I was going to write about the other night when I started a post by saying how truly baffled I am at how quickly time passes by and then fell asleep in the middle of it. Mamaw needs her sleep! Anyway...I am baffled by how quickly time passes and last weekend I spent time with people I haven't seen in 20 years. 20 years! And when I graduated from college 20 years ago I had no idea how quickly it would go. Regardless, my 20-year college reunion was upon me and I was excited to see sweet friends who knew and loved me unconditionally during my most awkward stage of life. Most people's awkward stage is in middle school but I was always a little behind and mine graced me in college.

So my sister who was celebrating her 25-year reunion picked me up on her way up from Austin, and we went together. And we had 3 hours in a car by ourselves uninterrupted for the first time in at least 15 years and we did not allow any lull in the conversation!

After we arrived in OKC we went to the campus for the men's homecoming basketball game. They have built a new center for the basketball and put an area above the basketball court for reunioners which is where we all stood during the game to catch up. Afterward we went to our class parties - first to mine and then to Patti's. My cheeks hurt after smiling and laughing so much. But it was fun and good to see these people.

Then Saturday after our reunion luncheons we went back to my folks' house and my nephew came over and brought his cutie wife and baby and we got to spend some time with them. My nephew loves to be with us because we giggle at everything he says and the more we giggle the more he performs for us. And speaking of how time goes by so quickly, he is a father! I remember going with his mother to drop him off at his first day of Kindergarten. I had a huge lump in my throat that day and now he's a daddy! And the same emotions that caused the lump in my throat that day are still stirred by him and all my nephews and nieces, who are also grown, and I still get the same lump when they reach milestones today.

Time does go fast. I want to spend it soaking up the blessing of waking up every day, and I want to spend it loving others well. I haven't always. But it's not to late to start.

Rambling

Sometimes I'm truly baffled by how quickly time passes. And I know it does and I often dpdddddfs

Ok. That first "paragraph" was something I started while I was laying in bed last night. I guess I fell asleep with my finger on the d on my smartphone keyboard. And...well...I have no idea what I was going to write about but I guess I had been overcome by the realization of how quickly time passes by.

Anyway.

Pinterest. I'm totally addicted. Totally. I have a lot of pins and a lot of projects on the list. Enough to keep me busy for the next 3 or 4 years. I started with this and I love it.

It is hanging in my entry way and I love it, by the way.

I also pinned this on my Organization board because I love organization.


Now...I'm not organized at all, but I love the idea, and I admire people who are. So...when I saw this idea on Pinterest, I was pumped because for $1.39, the area under my kitchen sink was going to become a really cool place. But when I did it, this is what happened. And, y'all...it won't stay, and I am not a natural DIYer, so I have no idea what gadget to go buy to make it work. Please help.

I'm done rambling now. Centennial High School is in the playoffs and they are spanking every team that darkens their doorstep. So I gotta go watch my niece cheer them on. Go Titans!

COST - co

I really should have known before we went that getting out of Costco with just the two items on our list was wishful thinking! I mean I had convinced my man to go with me and that it would be fun and I just wanted to get a couple things and we wouldn't be there very long. And so I'm not sure if I was trying to convince him or myself! Because, well...we didn't make it out of there with only two items, and our $20 turned into...ummm...$100. But. It was fun. So I was right about one thing!

Veggie Straws. Holy deliciousness! Go get some.

Lighted make-up mirror. Now maybe my make-up won't look so scary every day and one eye won't have more eye shadow than the other. It's always good to shed a little light into the darkness!

We use to have this flimsy white piece of paper covering us.

And it would cause our bedspread to be like this.

And I was like - dang!

But now we have this warm, snuggly blanket for our bed.

With this one our bedspread doesn't fall to the floor. And now I'm like - hooray!

It's a good thing I bought a huge package of lunch meat because I'll need it when the army gets here! No photo because we've already eaten a good portion of it and there's not enough left for the army!

And finally relief for my arthritic neck. Embarrassing. I know. But yes - arthritis. With this wonderful new tempur-pedic (sp?) pillow, I no longer wake up with a sore neck! Hallelujah!

And then there were a couple personal items. But I'm not going to tell what they are because it's personal!

I heart Costco. So glad there's a brand new one right across the street. Guess I'll need to continue to work so I can fund the habit.

Laundry room woes

My towels stink! Yes. Stink. For several weeks now - only in the mornings - my laundry room has been greeting us with the lovely stench of - well - sewage. I know. Gross! For the life of me I can't figure out why it's only in the mornings, and I'm not sure I want to figure it out. Really, I just want to walk by my laundry room and be greeted with the fresh spring scent of my detergent and fabric softener. And apparently, that's asking too much. But anyway, we finally got our landlords over here yesterday morning, and you guessed it...there was no smell of sewage. I mean nowhere near...not even one little bit! That is until I used a clean towel that I had just pulled from the dryer, which stank! And that, my friends, tells me that the water I've been washing my clothes in is not clean. So...I'm no plumber...or whatever handyman takes care of that type of problem, but I will get to the bottom of this. And in the mean time, I've got to figure out where to wash my laundry!

43

I've been getting used to the idea of being 43 for a few months now, so when I actually turned 43 last week it was no big deal. And when I say I've been getting used to the idea all I really mean is that instead of saying I'm 42, I've been telling people that I'm almost 43. I don't know why. I mean really...43? There are worse things. I guess. And I'm not sure what sparked any conversations over the last few months about my age. I don't think I've just blurted that info out. Surely there was good cause to engage in such small talk.

Anyway, yuck on the Rangers. My shoulders were up in my ears by the time the Cardinals hit that last home run in - what - the 18th inning last Thursday. And had my husband been here to watch it with me he would have been proud at how I was yelling at the t.v. one moment and high-fiving myself the next. It's true what they say about married people starting to look alike and think alike after a while. I have secretly judged him (ok not secretly, but out loud and proud) and been annoyed by him being a fair-weathered fan of the home teams. Which, I have heard from several girlfriends that their husbands do the same thing. Love em when they're winning; hate em when they're losing. And during those last two games I. Did. It. I became the fair-weathered fan in the house. And I realized it while I was standing on the couch wondering in high volume, "how did you really miss catching that ball?!" But really...they made some pathetic mistakes that cost them the World Series...again! But hey...third times a charm, right?

And as I sit here and make my opinion known about their mistakes, I'm reminded of my own. My present, past, and even future failures. And as I am reminded of my own yuck I have to give even that up in prayer so that I am not beaten down in condemnation by the adversary. For such a long time I gave myself over to lies about myself -never understanding, believing, or embracing what God says about me. I've been paralyzed for much of my life by the ugly truth of my fallen nature and have operated as if those lies were true. As if they define who I am and that I can't ever be anything any different. I chose for a long time to sit in the prison cell of my own flesh nature even though the door was wide open and I'd been freed to go. I'm thankful, though, that the lightbulb has been turned on to living free, and when I couldn't find that switch to flip, Grace reached through the darkness and turned it on.

Thank You, Steve Jobs

I was reading one of my favorite blogs tonight where the author of the post paid tribute to Steve Jobs by doing an iPhone dump. I thought it was an excellent idea so I've decided to do my own. I have a LOT more photos on my phone than this...of many random things...but I will only share a few.

I liked what President Obama said in his statement about the passing of Steve Jobs: "The world has lost a visionary. And there may be no greater tribute to Steve's success than the fact that much of the world learned of his passing on a device he invented."

So, thank you, Mr. Jobs for providing the opportunity for me to capture these memories that I probably wouldn't have if I didn't have an iPhone.

This is a picture of the band at the Journey concert that I attended with a friend a couple weeks ago. It was so great and there were a billion people there. It took me back to my high school days...and that was a very long time ago!

This is a picture of my husband with a sweet baby named Cruz.



I was with my sister in Nordstrom Rack one day not too long ago trying on shoes. We were definitely on the wrong aisle. That is a big shoe, y'all!

Brad Paisley. Greatness in Frisco, TX!

Although you can't see it too well, the sun was setting in the western sky. It was beautiful and I felt the need to capture it. Unfortunately, the Dallas North Tollway was in the way! Oh to live in the country!!


An excellent, excellent recipe. I was in the store and I couldn't remember what I needed, so I pulled that recipe up on my iPhone, took a screenshot, and voila...my grocery list was at my fingertips!


This is Lucy. She was my house guest last week while her family vacationed in the magical kingdom of Disney World. I had so much fun spoiling her.


And to top it off...I posted this from my recently downloaded Blogger App on my iPhone. Rest in peace, Mr. Jobs. You truly made a difference in the world!

Finally!

Blogger finally has an iPhone app and I'm posting this entry from my garage! Woot!

The weather, the election, and my website

The cool front that blew in over the weekend has been a welcomed pleasantry. For the first time since I started back to work, I got in my car at the end of the day and did not burn my legs or sweat through the fabric of whatever I was wearing. That makes me happy. And it really makes me ready for Fall. Pumpkins, falling leaves, sweatshirts in the evening, football, the Texas State Fair, and Pumpkin Spice Lattes...it just doesn't get any better.

Along with Fall honing in on us comes the political circus that is settling in and invading our homes for the next year. I'm sitting here in my living room with the first Republican Candidate Debate making ruckus in the background...and I can't help but wonder when the cast of Saturday Night Live will start making fun of all of them. That's the extent of my interest in politics. Which reminds me that I need to register to vote!

I'm getting excited because there are more shoes appearing on my website for purchasing. Some of them are ridiculous...and expensive, but there are some cute ones on there as well. I recently got these and am wearing the heck out of them. I've gotten a lot of compliments on them as well. We are in the midst of ordering our Fall collections. I've seen some of what we're getting and I'm very excited. If you like boots, you will want to visit my site often. There's several different styles coming in. Go take a looksie - www.clothedinstrength.mytothenines.com.

Tomorrow is already Thursday. I LOVE four-day weeks.

FBN

My brother-in-law was on Fox Business News last week to discuss how to better manage a business's technology.

Friday night randomness

The first two weeks of school has kicked my hiney! Going from waking up whenever I wake up and after lunch naps to waking up to an alarm at 5:30 every day is a difficult transition for the 40somethings!

I don't have much to blog about except that we had a surprise party for my mother-in-law tonight to celebrate her 68th birthday. Mission accomplished. She was surprised! And I could have done without the ginormous sopapilla! But it was really good.

Oh and my hair is slightly blonder than it was earlier this week. I used it well today! Just ask my friend Shelley!

My husband is home from his business trip and I'm really glad. I like him better here than halfway across the country. But it was a productive trip for him and for that I'm glad.

My desk setup at one of my campuses is extremely ergonomically incorrect and my shoulders and arthritic neck are paying the price. I'm hoping to find a good deal on a new desk chair this weekend...one with arm rests. Hoping we'll hit a good Labor Day sale.

Three day weekend. I get to meet my great niece for the first time. Down time with my man. Coffee with girlfriends. Coffee. Poolside. Movies. Coffee. Three day weekend. Life don't suck!

My list for today...

I must blog today about some things for which I am thankful, otherwise, I'm likely to head down another path! That's the kind of day it's been. And I feel it in my shoulders.

I started a list on my iPhone last week called 'Thankful For...'. My thought was that I would add things to that list every day when I came across things that make me smile. The first thing I added was gum! Apparently, I was very happy to have gum that day. Now...my memory is not the greatest in the world, but I believe that I added gum to my list because I was talking to a friend last week while I was enjoying my morning coffee. Now...some people can drink coffee in the morning and still have pleasant breath. I am not one of those people. Definitely. As I was talking to my friend this particular morning, she interrupted me with a look of pain on her face and asked, "Do you have a piece of gum I can have?" I was horrified because I know it wasn't her breath she was concerned with! Fortunately I did have a piece of gum and I gave her one. I also chomped on a piece for myself. And now she is still my friend! So...I am thankful for gum!




This makes my heart melt. And I LOVE things that make my heart melt!

When I have fear or worry or uncertainty, I'm thankful that
God reminds me what He's capable of and how much He
cares about making provision for His creation.

And I am thankful for the truth of this quote...

"The gospel is good news of mercy to the undeserving. The symbol of the religion of Jesus is the cross, not the scales" [that weigh our deeds both good and bad]
~John Stott

And today...especially today...I'm thankful and humbled by John 14:27 - Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

So I won't. At least for today.

Things I Love

Today I decided I needed to come up with some things for which I'm thankful...things I love. So often I can get into the rut of finding things to complain about and if this were that kind of post, unfortunately, the entry would probably be a lot longer than the one I am writing. I believe strongly that I can give great power to the words that come out of my mouth and I am in a season of wanting to change those words to have a positive nature rather than a negative one. Hopefully, as I venture out that the norm will become that the positive heavily outweighs the negative. So...here they are...things I love.

1. The boy in this picture with me. If I've said it once, I've said it a million times...he's a God-send.


2. The 5 other people in this picture with me. This is my family. I could try to describe how I feel about them, but there really are no words that would adequately do so. If you have a close family, then you understand what I'm talking about. I love them dearly.




3. E-Mealz. O.M.G. This has changed my life!! You must go directly to their website and try it out.


4. Candles. Love how they smell and love how they spread a fresh scent all through my house. My favorite candles are Tyler candles.





5. Toasted almonds. I could eat these in anything. Sometimes, I will mix them with Archer Farms dried cherries and it is a h.e.a.v.e.n.l.y. snack. At Christmas time, I will add the miniature Hershey's chocolate kisses to the mix. I put them in my salad. I eat them by themselves. And tonight, I added them to the dinner I made from e-mealz!





So there you have it. Five things that I love. What do you love?

It's 3:07 a.m.

That's right! 3:07 in the morning!! I went to bed at 10:00 and fell right to sleep. I've been awakened a bazillion times since then. I've visited Pinterest and repinned some yummy treats. Played Mahjong 3D and ended with a 6-digit score. Facebook. Twitter. Read Big Mama's blog archives. Reorganized my iPhone apps. Perused my photos. Recited my scripture memory verse several times with which my husband should be very thankful! Surfed the app store and found this mobile blogging app called Blog Booster. Here's a picture from my camera roll...
That's Lucille Ball. I love her! It's 3:15 now.

Leather wrapped bracelets

I have been looking everywhere for this kind of bracelet and have not had much luck. However, as I was browsing Pinterest today, I came across this blog on how to make one. Maybe I'll give it a try.

Forgiveness

Yikes...that's a tough one! I'm going through a study right now called The Fitting Room by Kelly Minter, and forgiveness happens to be the chapter I'm on. This book is written around Colossians 3:12 ~ Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. The author writes, 'I've always had plenty of these virtues till the moment I need them', and oh how true that is for me as well. It's easy for me to walk a friend through trusting God in the midst of difficult circumstances, or forgiving someone who hurt them, or having compassion on someone who just doesn't have a filter, but the moment I need to put those virtues into practice I become a novice! Knowing and doing are quite different!

So...forgiveness. After reading this chapter, I've been enlightened on a few things. Humbling.

First - we are often unwilling to forgive others because we have not accepted the forgiveness of Christ for ourselves, and the first cannot take place before the second.

Next - when we don't like something about someone else and are quick to judge them for it or whine to others about it, sometimes it's because we possess that same quality. We despise it in ourselves but have not received the forgiveness of Christ yet for that quality in ourselves.

Also - when we fixate on the trespass of another person, it's often because we are feeling guilty about something in our own life.

I've had to do some deep soul-searching and praying. As always, He's faithful to show me what I need to move forward in my journey. I asked and received, I sought and found, I knocked and the door has been opened. Now I have the choice to tackle it on my own or to surrender it to Him and allow Him to turn it into something beautiful.

I want beauty for ashes.

I really do.

Summer Highlights

It's HOT y'all! I remember the heat wave in 1980 when it got up to 113 one day. I burned my legs every time I crawled into the green station wagon and sat on the green vinyl seats. That was a long time ago.

I had a fabulous summer. It was way too short, though, and have been dragging all week since I started back to work on Monday.

I'll stop whining now.

Here are a few of my highlights from the summer of 2011, although, it does not even scratch the surface of all the fun I had!

This photo album customized with Smilebox

A little behind...

It's Spring Break...and I'm just getting my holiday pictures and videos organized. Merry Christmas from the Duke family...3 months late!

Duke Family Christmas from Deanna Collins on Vimeo.

Clothed in Strength

I'm a runner. A simple sentence I never ever pictured coming together in my head much less coming out my mouth. But it's true. And...I'm living proof that there is nothing is impossible without a little work, sweat, and perseverance.

There was one point in my life where I couldn't have run for any amount of time or distance...well unless I was running from the couch to the fridge or pantry! I didn't have the mental, physical, or emotional endurance to do anything except live in defeat. And this was the result...

I often think back to that time and am ashamed more of where I was emotionally than where I was physically. Maybe ashamed is a little too harsh because the fact is that this is where I was and what I knew and I had no idea...at that time...that it was such an unhealthy place to be or how to change anything about myself. After all...you don't know what you don't know till you know what you didn't know. My physical defeat was one of the direct results of my emotional defeat. But the more destructive result was the defeat that was running rampant in my heart. Luke 6:45 says, 'For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks'...and this was true for me. I recall many times when those who were close to me tried their best to encourage me, and I would always be quick to renounce anything good for or about myself. Many times my first reaction would be to let everyone around me know what a loser I was and how I couldn't do anything right. I was moody. I was negative. Untrusting. Sad. Hopeless.

It makes me sick today to think about how much time I wasted living in defeat. The crazy thing is that that mindset and those lies I operated from didn't go away when I lost weight. They are something I still struggle with. I still struggle with being moody and negative and defeated because that is all I have to offer by myself. But by the abundant grace of God, He's teaching me more every day how to be clothed in strength. How to know, in my head and my heart, that I was chosen for a specific purpose and that I was 'fearfully and wonderfully made'. So...it's my pleasure to say that I AM a runner. And in this race that I'm in, there are curves, potholes, uneven terrain, and others who splash you when they run through puddles. But if I keep my eyes focused on the finish line and the One who will be there to cheer me on and place a medal around my neck, then I can endure all that stuff because crossing the finish line in any race is a feeling like no other.

3m Half Marathon - Jan. 30, 2011

OKC Memorial Half Marathon - May 1, 2011

Boundaries

I read this book, Boundaries, a long time ago when I realized that my lack of boundary setting was a barrier in my spiritual and emotional growth. Reading it was...to say the least...a pivotal moment in my life; and it shed a lot of light on much that was confusing to me. I recently found the authors' website that has many video excerpts from their seminars, and they are excellent tools to refer if you are like me and have difficulty with setting (or knowing) boundaries in your life - Cloud & Townsend